Tag Archives: Halloween

It’s sort of incredibly depressing being a full-blown adult (at least as far as Halloween’s concerned)

Being a “real teacher” now, with all the real responsibilities that go with it, is pretty fantastic. But it’s also slightly depressing and incredibly stressful. I wouldn’t mind so much any other time of year except for now, being a 1/4 of the way through the school year, in the thick of it, and being smack dab in the middle of my favorite month of the year. And barely having the time to plan a fabulous Halloween party, or attend all the haunted houses in my general vicinity, or find the perfect ensemble for Kevin and my Beetlejuice/Lydia costume (and also being too brain-fried to know if I even just worded that correctly. Kevin and my? Kevin and mine? Kevin’s and my? I don’t even care anymore).

Even though our house is finally decked out in all its creepiness (and the neighbors probably think we are psychos, which we might just be), and even though we have already attended several haunted attractions, and even though we have done the annual corn maze & pumpkin picking, I still feel like this holiday, my holiday, the best time of the year, is slipping out of my grasp. And fast. We’re already 15 days into October? Um, excuse me, when did that even happen? I wish I could just press the pause button on this month until I have a chance to catch up on all the things I wait 11 months out of the year for. Ugh.

Since I’m basically too busy/exhausted/apathetic to write anymore, I can say with 98% certainty that I won’t be publishing any sort of horror movie marathon list this year. So for those of you who have any interest, please refer to years’ past here, here and here.

And for those of you who don’t care, don’t like scary movies or are just too lazy to click an external link, here are some pictures of our “murder house” for you to delight your senses with. Happy Haunting. photo 3

photo 2

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Ideas for Halloween you probably already had (but should repeat again anyway)

With just a week left until Halloween (cue my approaching sob fest), there are still so many ways left to celebrate this most beloved (albeit scary) time of year. I’m sure no one is as much of a horror/Halloween enthusiast as me (read: crazy person), but that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the same means of haunted celebration as I do. For those of you last-minute tricksters, here are a few fun holiday ideas you can still squeeze into this last week of the best month of the year (best for me, anyway…).

Jack the Pumpkin King and Zero. BFFs.

Jack the Pumpkin King and Zero. BFFs.

Carve pumpkins. I mean, duh, c’mon. It’s sort of a no-brainer when it comes to this Halloween tradition. The last week of October is actually the perfect time to do it, so that you can have a chance to enjoy your carvings but so that they don’t rot before the trick-or-treaters arrive, like some people’s pumpkins will who tried to be all overachievers about it and carved them weeks ago. Just saying. My twist this year, though, is to make it something worth a little more to you than the standard toothy-grinned pumpkins of Halloweens past. Surprisingly, I have never carved a Nightmare Before Christmas pumpkin (shocking, I know, but that’s mainly because I can’t draw for crap and no one has ever offered to stencil something for me until now), so it seemed only fitting that my boyfriend and I carve our first pumpkins together using his skills as a graphic designer/artist and my skills as an obsessed NBC fan. Errr, yeah. But they came out awesome, so whatever.

Indulge in cinematic horror (but not actual horror). Ever the scary movie fanatic, I highly encourage you to indulge in at least one or two horror movies before the month is up. I have so many favorites, the list could go on forever, but if you’re looking for a good variety, check out my posts from years past here, here and here.  I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. And if you are, I’ll just come for you in the night while you sleep.

Terrified. And the Three Little Pigs.

Terrified. And the Three Little Pigs.

Attend all the scary things. What would Halloween be without haunted houses and other scary attractions of the like? I took a break this year from the overly-commercialized Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios, mainly because of how long the drive is, how expensive tickets are and how much of your night is spent standing in line (because the quality of scare is 10 out of 10, but the other factors make it drop pretty low on my favorites list). Instead, I sought out some local haunts I’d never been to before, dragged all my friends to them, and I have to say I was incredibly satisfied with both the level of scare and the price of admission (definitely adding The Haunted Angelus Scream Park and The Radley Haunted House to my list of annual Halloween events in the Tampa Bay area).

If anyone has anything to add to my (rather dull) list, let me know. I’m trying to hold on to Halloween as tightly as I can in hopes that this year, maybe, just maybe, it will last a little longer than its usual 31 days…

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It’s beginning to look a lot like…Halloween

Even though we’re still a few days out til October, the fall/Halloween season is basically already upon us (at least for an addict like me). To kick off my favorite time of year, my friends and I hit Sweet Fields Farm for their annual corn maze (despite the fact that they don’t offer night tours anymore, the jerks). Although, with the typical sketchy Florida weather, we almost. didn’t. get. to. go. Stupid rain. Apparently you’re not capable of walking through a corn maze if it’s raining (so dumb). But I willed the rain to stop (it was clearly my pleading, not the weather pattern, that cleared the skies) and we made it in with the last admission. And of course had a blast (how could you not in a corn maze?).

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Children of the corn.

Since living in Florida, fall and Halloween have never been quite the same. As someone who lives to be scared and spends their whole year waiting for this one month, I still find plenty of ways to get my scare on and get into the fall spirit, but it’s not like it was living up north, with the changing leaves and the cool, crisp nights, perfect for bonfires and hot chocolate and freezing your butt off while you’re trick-or-treating.

Oh, who am I kidding, who wants to be cold and miserable? I love Florida. I do miss things that were unique to Pennsylvania, like Mazezilla and The Hotel of Horror, but I’ve discovered a few Florida haunts that I’m hoping will pan out and turn into a yearly thing (more on that later). More than anything, I just want to go to a bunch of haunted houses, scream my head off often, watch a lot of terrifying movies and never have it be November 1st.

Also, please bring back my favorite Halloween commercial. K thanks.

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6 horror movie must-sees you’ve probably never heard of (and a few you have)

Now that Halloween is upon us again (literally, like, it’s tomorrow, whoops), it’s time for my annual horror movie compilation post. For the last two years, I’ve put together some pretty great lists of some pretty classic, pretty awesome and pretty classically awesome scary movies, most of them known by the general public. You can revisit them here and here.

This year, I’ve put together what I consider a pretty sweet list of movies generally unheard of by the kind of people who a) aren’t huge horror movie buffs and/or b) who only watch movies that are produced on a large scale and featured in the theaters (with a few popular ones thrown in for good measure). Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally awesome to go to the theaters and see the cliche horror movies they’re coming out with these days (another exorcism movie, how original), but anyone looking for a good scare (or two) this Halloween should check out some (if not all) of the following:

Insidious Chapter 2. Okay, this one is obviously well-known to anyone with a TV, but I loved the first one (so much it made my list two years ago) and the second one is no different. Actually, I liked the second one better which, for anyone who knows how obsessed I was with the first, obviously means it’s worth watching. Obviously. It should be out on DVD in about a hundred years (okay, really, like a month, but same difference). Chapter 2 seemed to have more terror to it, more scenes to make you jump out of your seat, and I especially liked the development of the Old Woman. Just go watch it, you’ll see what I mean.

The Barrens. You may or may not have heard of this one (I hadn’t) but you’ll find a familiar face in this flick. True Blood’s Stephen Moyer plays Richard Vineyard, a troubled man just trying to bring his family back together with an innocent camping trip. But an urban legend from his past comes back to haunt him and his family, and what seems like a nice vacation quickly turns grim. Not the scariest movie of the year, and the special effects aren’t quite Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights standards, but it will definitely make you think twice before wandering off into the woods.

V/H/S. Loved this movie. It’s actually a horror anthology, a series of short films strung together with an overall story line to tie them all together. I’m particularly fond of Adam Wingard’s segment (mostly because I’m slightly obsessed with him), but all of the segments bring something unique and terrifyingly awesome to the table. Apparently the movie was so successful they produced a second.  V/H/S/2 is actually pretty great as well (and available at Redbox right now) and doesn’t require having seen the first one, but I personally enjoyed the original more than the sequel. But you should watch them both anyway. In a row. In the dark. By yourself. Right now. And… go.

ABCs of Death. Speaking of horror anthologies (and Adam Wingard), ABCs of Death is a pretty badass movie (that most normal people who don’t sit up at night watching horror movies in the dark have never heard of). It is exactly what it sounds like, a horror anthology chronicling 26 ways to die in alphabetical order. You’d be surprised how some of the letters of the alphabet could off a guy.

Would You Rather. Less of a scary movie and more of a disturbing one, it viewed like a mild version of Hostel as far as content and plot, but it’s by no means as gory or sexually explicit (although I still wouldn’t recommend letting your kids watch it). I thought it was a fairly creative idea for a movie, and it had a pretty good twist at the end. Although I saw it coming, but nothing gets by me, so that’s not surprising, but it was still a decent ending to a decent flick.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence). This movie is several years old, 2009 I think, so more and more people have heard of it by now, but it’s still a good one to make this list. I actually watched the second sequence first but was unimpressed. I finally sought out the original, first sequence, about 8 months ago and, while completely disturbing, I found it sickly satisfying. I think you will too. Don’t deny it, you love watching this sick crap almost as much as I do.

So there you have it folks. This year’s awesomely unheard-of horror movie mania list. Be terrified, be disgusted, have nightmares for weeks. These are all signs of a positive horror movie experience, and I think everyone should know what it feels like at least once in their life (or every day, if you’re me). Happy haunting!

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6 Halloween costume ideas (based on this year’s popular culture)

If you haven’t already decided what you’re going to be for Halloween this year, here are a few ideas based on current pop culture obsessions.

The Royal Baby. Who doesn’t love when adults dress up as babies? Make sure you distinguish yourself as the royal baby and not just some random, non-royal, unimportant, everyday baby. You certainly wouldn’t want to be confused with an ugly baby, like your coworker’s or your best friend’s.

Minions. Everyone loves these adorable Despicable Me characters, and if you don’t, well, there’s probably something wrong with you. They are so lovable and original, you are bound to get a lot of compliments throughout the night. Be especially impressive by contorting your face to literally accommodate the cyclops eye of Carl. And make sure you play the part and walk around chanting “Bee-do” and saying other unintelligible nonsense. People will love you for it.

A pregnant Kim Kardashian. It’s still hard to believe sometimes that this particular Kardashian reproduced (and with arrogant Kanye West nonetheless) but the world continues to love her and her offspring despite her flaws. Plus I just think it would be really funny to see someone walking around as a preggo Kim.

The Fox. By now everyone and their mother has seen the instantly famous “What the fox says” video and if not, you must be living under a rock. Regardless, this chart-topper features several different versions of The Fox to choose from (not to mention other animals that make for one of the coolest tea parties I’ve ever seen). If you do decide to dress up as The Fox, maybe you can enlighten us as to what a fox actually says, because no one seems to know.

Miley Cyrus twerking in her stuffed bear backpack. I don’t approve of Miley’s recent behavior (or music videos), but you can play this one up as a joke and probably still win a costume contest or two.

Creepy Snickers commercial lady. This one isn’t actually current (thanks to the selfish ad guys who decided not to air the commercial again this year), but it’s still relevant enough to make this list, and awesome enough to never get old. It’s pretty much the best commercial I’ve ever seen, and one of the creepiest costumes you could hope for this south of Halloween Horror Nights, and I think it would be pretty fantastic if I saw someone out and about dressed up in the mask and leopard coat.

Good luck executing your costume, and please get back to me with some photographic proof. Also be sure to check out my costume ideas from last year here.

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