Tag Archives: Debate

5 should-be requirements to run for president

When the RNC came to town last week, I felt compelled to watch “the baseball glove’s” closing speech (that, and my boyfriend made me). Unsurprisingly, the entire broadcast made me hate politicians that much more (not to mention lose some serious respect for Dirty Harry). I’ve realized the more I watch and follow the politics in this country, and even abroad, the less hope I have for humanity. It’s astounding how much faith we put in politicians. I understand the pressures of being in such a position are extreme and it’s usually easier said than done to follow through on the promises they’ve made us, but quite frankly I’m tired of listening to these egotistical buffoons going on about all the things they will do for us if we elect them into office and then never seeing any follow-through. With the presidental election looming, it’s more apparent than ever that there needs to be a set of obvious requirements the candidates must meet before even being considered to run for office. These requirements should overrule any other conditions involved in determining eligibilty, because, if you can’t meet these simple conditions, I don’t want you running my country. Here are several big ones:

Vote for me. Even a rabid panda would be more successful as president (and yes, that is my head).

1. A presidential candidate must know how many states make up the U.S. This one should be pretty obvious. If you don’t know how many states you’re presiding over, how are you supposed to accurately and positively impact them? Maybe everyone makes mistakes and miscommunicates their thoughts but you’re the president, you’re not allowed to make mistakes.

2. A presidential candidate must be able to produce valid proof of citizenship. I’m still unconvinced of our current prez’s “claimed” place of birth, so this is something that should be worked out before they even enter the race. I’m sorry, but if that’s even a question, if there’s even a shadow of a doubt as to where you came from, you probably shouldn’t be nominated.

3. A presidential candidate must have at least a high school level vocabulary. Maybe it was funny when Bush did it (though, as an English and writing major, I was never laughing), but even with a teleprompter and endless writers at your disposal, you still need to communicate correctly.

4. A presidential candidate must remain humble. No one wants an egotistical butthead running their country, telling them what to do. This one is tough to validate, because few politicians are humble, but this requirement could be waived if they prove worthy in other areas.

5. A presidential candidate must always keep the nation’s best interest in mind. Even if they pass 1-4, it’s very unlikely (at least in recent years) that the president will ever truly put what’s best for us ahead of his own agenda. Which brings me full circle to my original argument that no politician ever keeps their word. So basically we’re all screwed. I think I’ll vote for myself this election.



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Why women have it better

Several weeks ago I wrote a post about why men have it better– one that certainly caused a mini-debate in the blogging world. The general consensus from the women (the few there were who had something to say) was that I had valid points; the general consensus from the men was that I was ill-informed and wrong. Although, how an opinion can be wrong, I’m not sure (when by definition, an opinion is never wrong). Nonetheless, I’m prepared to take another internet bashing- and something tells me it will be from the men, again- so, as promised, here’s why I believe women have it better:

We’re not as hairy. Aside from the few areas of the body women typically shave/wax, we don’t have to contend with gross back hair, chest hair, etc., and for the most part, our arm hair and leg hair is way finer and and nearly undetectable. Thank the lord.

This makes me giggle.

We’re more stylish. True, there are plenty of men who have good taste in fashion, but these are usually gay men or seriously metrosexual men (and let’s face it, they’re usually on a completely different level than us fashionistas). I’m not saying guys don’t have the opportunity to dress nice and look handsome- trust me, my boyfriend definitely knows how to pull off dress pants and button-down shirts- but women still represent the majority in the fashion industry, and I doubt that’s going to change any time soon.

We can do that whole “sex as a weapon” thing. Not that I condone it, but it’s true. Women are typically more powerful in regards to sexuality, and we will definitely hold it over your heads if we need to.

We don’t get charged cover and we get to drink for free. I’m sorry, but have you ever heard of “Guys’ Night?” Didn’t think so.

We are more mature. I bet a 10-year-old girl is probably more mature than a 30-year-old man. Just sayin’. Sometimes your immaturity is endearing and humorous, but most of the time it’s just annoying and frustrating, i.e., grow up.

If it wasn’t for us, men wouldn’t exist. There may be some serious downsides to having to be the one to carry the burden (literally) of bearing children, but we are the ones who hold the power of life. We need you for about five seconds (and not even you, just your best swimmers) and then we do all the work from there, repopulating the world and making sure there are always too many mouths to feed.

Basically, there are pros and cons to both sides. I don’t really think men have it better than women or women have it better than men. But I do enjoy sparking debate with my controversial thoughts, and there are definitely times when I loathe men for some things and other times that I simply laugh in their faces for not being quite as good as me. All in all, I like most people. Unless you’re an asshole. Or a suicide bomber. Or a rapist. Or President Obama.

P.S.- Happy International Women’s Day! For just today, all you men reading this and loathing every word have to appreciate me (and all the other ladies in your lives) for being a strong woman and contributing to society in every way that I do (hey, I contribute in minor ways, I just can’t think of what they are right now). You can go back to hating me tomorrow.

P.P.S.- if this is the CIA, please don’t throw me in jail for defamation, I’m simply exercising my First Amendment rights, so piss off.

P.P.P.S.- Cheers!


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