My sister came over tonight and cried on my couch after just having put her cat to sleep, and even though it wasn’t my cat, Cinnamon had been apart of our family for over 17 years, so I sat on the couch and cried with her. We knew she was old and sickly, so this wasn’t a total shocker, but I honestly wasn’t prepared to come home from spin (knowing full well my sister was coming over tonight, anyway) to this news.
I feel so sad for her, and for Cinnamon, because it isn’t easy saying goodbye to a furry best friend. I always joke that with my luck, my bastard cat will never die, she’ll just keep shitting on my floors for the rest of my life. But when that day finally comes and Felix is no more, I’m not sure how I will manage. Pets may not be as important to some people as other humans are, but when they’re in your lives for that amount of time, and they become apart of your family, it isn’t easy to let them go, even if you know it’s what’s best for them. I know there are varying degrees of loss and sadness (and I’ve been quite fortunate enough to not have experienced the most extreme cases of it), but any loss in general, when it affects the heart, is enough to make adjusting to life without that person (or beloved pet) almost unbearable. It’s crazy to think how, eventually, with time, these emotional wounds do finally heal (though we may never be the same again, it does get easier) and that we’re able to continue living our lives while that other individual no longer can. Life is such a funny, fragile concept, and I’m not sure I’ll ever really understand it, but I think I can understand that gut-wrenching feeling you get when you realize you have to go on without someone (because I’ve been there, in other ways). It takes a lot of strength to accept loss and move on, and anyone who has ever experienced it, big or small, will know what I mean when I say some days you just want to cry. And that’s okay. There will eventually be other days that you can look back on that person or pet’s life and know they lived a good one, regardless of how short or long they thrived, and be happy you had them in your life in the first place. It’s not an easy place to get to, but just know it’s possible, and never give up the fight to get there.
I realize it might be ridiculous to write a eulogy for a cat, but I think if it makes a difference to just one person (that one person being my sister), then it wasn’t ridiculous at all, it was completely worth it. So here it goes:
Cinnamon was a good and loyal cat, one who preferred time alone to sleep in the sunlight, but who (especially in her old age) also enjoyed a good snuggle and back scratch from anyone who would give her the time of day (which was everyone). She loved sleeping squished in cardboard boxes and licking the water from a dripping faucet. In her younger days, she liked to sleep on people’s heads and stay as far away from Felix the cat as she could. In her wiser days, she preferred to curl up on a soft blanket somewhere and stay as far away from Felix the cat as she could. She was a pet and a best friend, and she will be forever loved and missed.