Tag Archives: College

College hook-ups 101

Although my college days are several years behind me now, I spent a good deal of time roaming the halls and campuses of my schools (both domestic & international, what what) and several schools I did not attend (and will probably never be asked back to). It seems only appropriate that, now that I’ve had time to look back and reflect on my decisions and the decisions of my peers, I address the biggest and probably most important life lesson you learn while spending those formative college years pretending to study: hooking up.

I’m not really sure why anyone in college thinks it’s a good idea to hook up with someone in their dorm (especially if that person lives on their floor or, better yet, across the hall). I understand the lazy college student mentality of it; why trek across campus to get some action when you can just travel a flight or two in your own dorm-sweet-dorm to score? But in general, it’s not a very smart idea (and here I thought you had to be smart to go to college…).

For starters, the chances of you running into that one-night stand again (or two-night, or three-night stand…) are very high. In fact, I would be extremely shocked if you DIDN’T run in to them again while residing in the same building. Unless you ended on perfect terms (which, if it was a random hookup, is highly unlikely) or are one of those rare people who don’t feel awkward in any situation, it will probably be very uncomfortable for you to have to encounter them again, even if it is only a few seconds when passing in the halls (or worse, getting stuck in an elevator together).

Even if you are able to dodge them at every cost, there will still be other people you will run in to that will know what you’ve done and who you’ve done it with. This includes roommates, dorm room neighbors, friends, RAs, janitors, etc. So even though you may never see THEM again, people will talk and random strangers you’ve never even seen or heard of before will snicker at you when you walk by. Not to mention the fact that you’re more than likely hooking up with someone who has or is going to hook up with other people in your building. Because it’s accessible and they’re easy. I mean, it’s easy. The hooking up part. Errrr.

So unless you’re dying to have something in common with your new dormmates, it’s probably best to broaden your horizons. I’m not saying you have to take a bus and two trains to keep your hookup private, but at least consider widening your scope to the next dorm building over.

If you don’t, you could be kicking yourself later. I’m sure at least some of you know what I mean.

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2 reasons why my college degree is worthless

A year and a half ago, I was ecstatic to finally be leaving the realm of education. After spending roughly 20 years of my life in some form of schooling or another, it felt good to finally hang up the “student” hat and step out into the “real world,” whatever the hell that means (because apparently I’ve been living in a fake world this whole time?).

But now, a year and a half later, I’m no better off than I was before I earned that expensive piece of paper they like to call a diploma (which is somewhere buried beneath a pile of random stuff, still encased inside the special envelope it was mailed to me in). Four mediocre jobs and lots of credit card debt later, I’m back to square one, with no job, no money and no real reason why I should believe my college education is going to save my ass, especially in this economy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, in a lot of ways, a college degree is very useful. Like, say, for using to brag to all your non-educated friends, or for using as kindling to start a fire when your electric is turned off due to lack of payment (see: insufficient funds).

But I feel there are several good reasons why my college degree is completely and utterly worthless, some of them being:

A college degree doesn’t guarantee you a job. Basically, there are no guarantees in life. I get that. But I sure wish someone would have warned me before I wasted five years of my life and thousands of dollars of my dad’s hard-earned money (thanks though, dad, really, I appreciate the support) that the piece of paper I was busting my ass for would only marginally help in getting a halfway-decent job. Classroom learning is important but I’ve always believed life experience was more vital when it came to knowing a profession, especially after all the times I’ve been told there are no entry-level jobs when it comes to publishing, that you have to know what you’re doing before you do it (which obviously makes no sense and clearly supports my belief that experience is more necessary than education), which brings me to my second point:

I graduated with (one of) the most useless majors. Don’t get me wrong. I love English literature and clearly I love writing (who would actually waste their time writing a blog this cynical if they weren’t finding some sort of pleasure from it?) but having a degree in it is like having a degree in cat-napping; you can’t actually do anything with it, except go on for more schooling. Or maybe be a teacher, but even then you have to jump through more hoops and are simply better off with an education degree. A Bachelor’s in English nowadays is a good foundation for any other type of degree or major, and if I was planning on being a lawyer or a psychologist or a publicist, it would be very useful in providing the groundwork I’d need to go on to pursue those careers. But heaven forbid I actually want to utilize the degree as is and have a job that means something without putting myself in student loan debt and spending more years in a classroom. It’s basically impossible. Finding a job in my field (whatever that means) is like finding a needle in a haystack, cliched as it sounds (hey, when you’re this stressed, you can’t think in anything other than cliches). When I was a student, I never had to worry about landing a “real” job, because whatever crap-ass job I was working while attending classes didn’t matter, because there was always the promise of something better that was just out of reach, waiting for me after just one more class, just a few more credits. But sitting around as a broke, unemployed college grad doesn’t exactly scream success, so what’s a bitter, almost-twenty-four-year-old like me to do?

Ok, screw this “real world” business, I’m going back to school.

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