5 things to give thanks for this Thanksgiving

There are so many things in this world to be thankful for this Thanksgiving that it can get a little overwhelming narrowing it down to just one or two. If you haven’t quite decided yet what you’re going to give thanks for this holiday season, here are a few extra special options to bring to your dinner table.

Netflix. Forget live TV. Say goodbye to endless ads and missing your favorite shows because of scheduling conflicts. Now, for one low monthly price, you can have access to just about any show or movie you want at the touch of a button. Besides, the other way is too old-fashioned. Obviously.

GPS. I’m not sure how anyone got from point A to point B before the invention of the GPS; I sure don’t know how I managed. Who remembers how to read a map, anyway?

Credit cards. Ah, plastic money. The solution to anyone’s financial problems. Clearly. Just swipe one of these bad boys and you can have anything you want. It’s just like magic.

Fast food. In this day and age, ain’t no body got time to wait around for a home-cooked meal anymore. Although some of these fast food restaurants can hardly call themselves “fast.” I mean, having to wait in my car for a minute and a half for my food?! Really, people. If you can’t get it to me in under a minute, I don’t want it.

Michael Kors. I don’t pretend to understand the current obsession is with MK lately (and by lately I mean over the past year or two), but it’s definitely prevalent in today’s society, and so seems worth noting when it comes to this list. I don’t get it, but whatevs. Majority rules, I guess.

There are many more, but these are just a few to get you started.


And if any of you actually give thanks for any of these things this year (or any year, for that matter), I will personally hunt you down, drag you kicking and screaming across the globe to a third-world country and publicly flog you while everyone looks on in sheer wonderment. Or something like that.

Oh yeah, Happy Thanksgiving!


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Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Satire

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