Monthly Archives: September 2012

7 songs to get you over a break-up (or at least get you up off the couch)

Getting your heart broken sucks.

The end.


But really, it does suck. There’s nothing worse than wearing your heart on your sleeve (as cliched as that is) and giving everything you have to someone only to have them rip out your still-beating heart and stomp all over it.

Okay, now that I’m done being melodramatic, it is true that breaking up with someone you love and care about bites the big one. But going through hardships is a part of life, and in the end, it only makes us stronger as individuals (although I’m having a hard time remembering that right now).

The bright side of things is that you’re not alone. People are feeling heartache every day all over the world, but don’t forget, there is always someone there to lend their shoulder when you feel like you need to cry (and cry again and again and again). There’s always someone there to remind you how much of a schmuck that person was and how awesome you are and how you deserve so much better. But when you’re home alone at night and all you want to do is curl up into a little fetus on the floor in your closet, sometimes it’s nice to have a distraction to keep you from splattering your brains all over the wall. For me, music is my savior. It always has been and always will be. No matter what I’m feeling, whether I’m sad or lonely or cracked out on Red Bull, music is my number-one go-to to take me out of my body and away from any thoughts I might be thinking. So lately (at least in the last two hours), I’ve been drowning my sorrows with a catchy collection of songs that are enough to make you laugh, cry and jump around your room long enough to forget why you were ever upset in the first place.

Felix approves of my playlist.

In no particular order, here are 7 songs to get you over a break-up:

1. Heartbreaker – Pat Benatar. This is an oldie, but such a goodie. I love Pat, always have. Whether or not this song fits your situation exactly, it’s a pretty blunt call out to whoever it was that broke your heart (and it’s a bitchin’ good song to rock out to). If you can’t turn your mood around with some Pat Benatar, you should just stop reading right now, because this is as good as it will ever get.

2. Somebody Else’s Arms – Armor For SleepI love AFS. They may not be for everyone (as most of my favorite bands tend to be), but several of their songs (this one in particular) are perfect for bringing out the emo in you. You may cry afterwards and want to slit your wrists a little, but you wouldn’t be a true emo if you didn’t.

3. 50 Ways to Say Goodbye – Train. This current chart-topper has got me hooked. It’s light-hearted in a sad, sorrowful “you dumped me and I want to cry” kind of way and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. The video makes it about ten times better, so if you need a quick laugh, go YouTube it.

4. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together -Taylor Swift. As much of a non-fan of T-swizzle’s as I am (does anyone actually call her that?) some of her songs (okay, most of her songs) are annoyingly catchy, and this one is currently the only one I’m singing. It makes sense, really, because it’s catchy and appropriate and a reminder that I should not give in to temptation. Must. Not. Give. In. If you haven’t heard it yet, go listen right now. And picture Jake Gyllenhaal crying the whole time it’s playing.

5. Surprise, Surprise – The Starting Line. One of their older songs, this remains one of my favorites to this day. It’s especially useful in this sort of situation, serving as one of those “you cheated so go to hell” kind of songs that’s jam-packed with angry guitar riffs, loud, up-beat rhythm and lyrics spewing with venom and hate. Not as angry as it sounds, I promise.

6. I’m Not Okay (I Promise) – My Chemical Romance. The title says it all. Not to mention MyChem is notorious for being loud and in-your-face, especially when it comes to all things dark and haunting. Now if only Gerard Way would kiss and make up with Bert McCracken. Which brings me to…

7. Buried Myself Alive – The Used. I remember almost walking into Bert McCracken 10 years ago on the sidewalk outside an Asbury Park Warped Tour, and I think I’ve been obsessed with him ever since. Despite his habitual drug use, he and his mates have always been favorites of mine on the music scene, and this song definitely brings it home for me. After all, “if you want me back, you’re gonna have to ask nicer than that…”


If all else fails and my playlist makes you more blue than you were before, go find the most depressing movie on TV, buy the biggest tub of ice cream you can find and bawl your eyes out until they swell up and you can’t see anymore. At least that way you won’t have to see your ex happy with someone else.



Filed under Advice, Entertainment, Humor, Uncategorized

Shark wrestling (and 5 other sea creatures I’d like to meet)

I defeated a shark.

Albeit, a baby one. But a shark nonetheless.

Sharkie and me.

As a diver and avid water enthusiast, I’ve always been fascinated with sharks. Sure, I’m terrified as much as the next guy, but I’ve always been strangely obsessed with things that terrify me (hence my all-consuming obsession with horror, gore and all things Halloween).

And when it comes to sharks, the more up-close-and-personal I can get with them, the better (unless they’re sneaking up on me to have me as dinner). Now, I’ve been diving around sharks before, and I’m sure there have been plenty of times they have been lurking below me as I frolicked at the surface, but there’s nothing more exciting than coming into contact with one (in a good way, not a “my-leg-just-got-ripped-off-by-a-shark” kind of way).

Shark attack!

Catching the six-footer off the coast of Key West two years ago was awesome. I wish I could find the pictures to show them off to you now, but you’ll just have to trust me. But we cut the line before I even had a chance to say goodbye, let alone touch it. So catching Sharkie (as I’ve dubbed him) last week was quite exhilarating; here was a baby shark that was big and strong enough to put up a good fit but small enough to come on board for a quick photo op. As terrifyingly awesome as it was to hold the thrashing beast in my bare hands, there are still several other sea-beasts I’d like to encounter before I croak. In no particular order:

A whale. They may be gentle-ish creatures (to us, not plankton), but they are so massive and hard to come across it would be a shame never to meet one. Plus I could probably even have a conversation with one if I channel Dory from Finding Nemo.

Dolphins. I swam with dolphins on several occasions (thank you travel & tourism), and it’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. But I want to get cozy with a wild dolphin. I’ve tried to no avail, but I know one day it will happen. And when it does, they will push me out of the water with just their nose. I’m sure of it.

Sharks. I know I’ve already encountered several sharks, both above the ocean and below it. But until I encounter every species (okay, maybe not every species of shark, but at least all the really cool ones), this one will still be on my list. With a giant, man-eating great white at the top of the list.

The Loch Ness Monster. I know this one doesn’t technically reside in the sea (if it resides at all, which I believe it does), but it’s too noteworthy not to include. I want to dive Loch Ness and come face to face with the elusive monster and hope it doesn’t swallow me whole.

A giant squid. I’m not talking a tiny little blob of a creature that is smaller than a boat or one of those dinky ones that you see at the aquarium. I’m talking legendary Kraken-size, like, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea proportions. I want to go down in my little submarine with Jules Verne and be overtaken by a giant squid whose eyeball alone could swallow the city of New York. And then I will write the best-selling, Nobel-prize-winning novel 21,000 Leagues Under the Sea and retire with (most) of my body parts still intact.

1 Comment

Filed under Entertainment, Humor, Lists, Uncategorized

5 should-be requirements to run for president

When the RNC came to town last week, I felt compelled to watch “the baseball glove’s” closing speech (that, and my boyfriend made me). Unsurprisingly, the entire broadcast made me hate politicians that much more (not to mention lose some serious respect for Dirty Harry). I’ve realized the more I watch and follow the politics in this country, and even abroad, the less hope I have for humanity. It’s astounding how much faith we put in politicians. I understand the pressures of being in such a position are extreme and it’s usually easier said than done to follow through on the promises they’ve made us, but quite frankly I’m tired of listening to these egotistical buffoons going on about all the things they will do for us if we elect them into office and then never seeing any follow-through. With the presidental election looming, it’s more apparent than ever that there needs to be a set of obvious requirements the candidates must meet before even being considered to run for office. These requirements should overrule any other conditions involved in determining eligibilty, because, if you can’t meet these simple conditions, I don’t want you running my country. Here are several big ones:

Vote for me. Even a rabid panda would be more successful as president (and yes, that is my head).

1. A presidential candidate must know how many states make up the U.S. This one should be pretty obvious. If you don’t know how many states you’re presiding over, how are you supposed to accurately and positively impact them? Maybe everyone makes mistakes and miscommunicates their thoughts but you’re the president, you’re not allowed to make mistakes.

2. A presidential candidate must be able to produce valid proof of citizenship. I’m still unconvinced of our current prez’s “claimed” place of birth, so this is something that should be worked out before they even enter the race. I’m sorry, but if that’s even a question, if there’s even a shadow of a doubt as to where you came from, you probably shouldn’t be nominated.

3. A presidential candidate must have at least a high school level vocabulary. Maybe it was funny when Bush did it (though, as an English and writing major, I was never laughing), but even with a teleprompter and endless writers at your disposal, you still need to communicate correctly.

4. A presidential candidate must remain humble. No one wants an egotistical butthead running their country, telling them what to do. This one is tough to validate, because few politicians are humble, but this requirement could be waived if they prove worthy in other areas.

5. A presidential candidate must always keep the nation’s best interest in mind. Even if they pass 1-4, it’s very unlikely (at least in recent years) that the president will ever truly put what’s best for us ahead of his own agenda. Which brings me full circle to my original argument that no politician ever keeps their word. So basically we’re all screwed. I think I’ll vote for myself this election.


Leave a comment

Filed under Entertainment, Opinion, Society