Getting old kind of sucks.
Not in the usual sucky-suck way, when you just can’t stand something and you’d rather chew off your own arm than have to face it (although I probably shouldn’t make zombie jokes when there’s been so much of it in the media lately), but in a general sense, as far as birthdays go, it sucks.
I turned 23 a few days ago. Yes, I realize 23 is not that old. But it just reminds me how pointless birthdays are and how depressing that “special” day that’s all yours really is.
Now don’t get me wrong, this is not me whining that not enough people reached out to me on my birthday. If there’s one day guaranteed to bring all the random Facebook friends you have on your profile out of the woodworks to actually acknowledge you, it’s your birthday. So between the posts on my timeline, the texts from close friends and the phone calls from family, I got a good amount of attention (not that I really wanted it, but still).
But the lack of “hoopla” just reminded me how much getting old sucks. First of all, birthdays are really only meaningful when you’re young, and you get cool toys and huge parties thrown in your honor and you’re actually super excited to have a birthday (mainly for the presents, but still). So as an adult, there’s not much to really look forward to except that you’re another year old, another year closer to wrinkles and grey hair and death.
Birthdays are just another reminder of how time moves faster and faster the older you get, of how impossible it is to slow it down and stop it from happening. Sometimes I wish I could just freeze time for a little bit, at least until I can accomplish all things I said I wanted to by 23. Sometimes life gets in the way of having a life.
Maybe I’m just being melodramatic because it’s been rainy here and I couldn’t go to the beach on my birthday. And sure, there are plenty of great reasons why it’s cool to be an adult, but now that I’m 23, I feel old. Like I crossed a line in the sand I can’t step back over; 22 still seemed young, but 23? Being 23 makes me feel old. And it sucks. The end.