Why men have it better

Men suck.

I say this out loud with all the love in my heart, as my boyfriend is sitting five feet away and hoping I’ll marry him someday, but generally speaking, I hate him for having it better than me. Men in general have it better than us ladies, and it hardly seems fair at times. Sure, women have their sexuality and can use it to their advantage, but who gives a crap? I rarely use it to my advantage- I have morals and stuff like that- and mostly just don’t want to have to deal with all the crap women have to deal with and men don’t.

And this isn’t me going off on a feminist rant, I just truly wish I was a dude sometimes so I could bypass all the female nonsense and just get away with having it easier. Not saying I don’t enjoy being a woman- ladies, don’t get your panties in a bunch. And men, don’t try and argue that you don’t have it better, either. Because you do. And I can prove it. Why do I think men have it better?

They can pee wherever they want. Unlike women, who have to squat and all that (and we know what a messy situation that can be), men can just whip it out wherever they want and let it out whenever they need to.

They can go topless. Sure, there’s that whole equal rights movement going on in New York where women can go out in public without a shirt on, but people are still staring. There’s never that kind of staring at topless men (the closest second would be insanely good-looking male model-types whose bare chests automatically elicit drooling and ogling from any woman with a pulse within a 100-foot radius).

They don’t have to shave as much. Aside from the occasional face shave (and some men don’t even do that much), guys don’t have to worry about shaving anything. Us women on the other hand… let’s just say we waste a lot of time in the shower shaving certain body parts.

There isn’t as much pressure to be thin and flawless. Men can have bad skin. Men can have a gut or a bit of a muffin top (god I hate that term) and not receive as much criticism from the opposite sex. In fact, some women like their men a little bigger. But in general, society puts the bigger emphasis on women being tiny and perfect, when in reality, perfection just doesn’t exist. And quite frankly, I’m tired of it. I blame the media.

Hilarious. But so not fair.

They don’t have that time of month. Do you realize how unfair that is? Not to mention all the money they save on tampons and pads. And then of course there’s the whole childbearing thing. Don’t get me started. Jerks.

Big feet is actually a good thing. Unlike women- namely me, with my size 10.5/11 shoe- the bigger the shoe, the more respect. In fact,  the rare man with small feet is the one ridiculed.

They just generally get away with more. That whole double-standard thing- as much as we try and say it doesn’t exist in society, it does- plays in their favor 100 percent. Again, jerks.

Overall, I wouldn’t want to be a man. They are hairy and gross and they smell and they’re just not as pretty and delicate as ladies. I might get annoyed with certain things they do better or have better, but unlike them, I get to play dress up everyday and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

 

Although I still wish I could easily pee anywhere I wanted.

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20 Comments

Filed under community, Cynicism, Entertainment, Gender differences, humanity, Humor, Lists, Opinion, sex, Society

20 responses to “Why men have it better

  1. wobsy

    I’m pleased you’re discussing this but I think you’ve made some fundamental errors. Even if you’re right about men being better off in the respects you list, not many of these things are as a result of anything that men have done.
    You can’t blame us for menstruation: that was around for several million years before men (or women) existed.
    It’s not our fault you can’t piss up a wall.
    You don’t have to shave: you choose to, just as we do.
    Men also suffer from pressure to be slim and fit not, I grant you, to the same intensity as women. But I’m not convinced it’s generated exclusively either by or for either sex. Who is to blame: the jury’s still out.
    If you want to go topless, move to Europe: we’re more grown up over here.
    Big feet are a nightmare! I can’t get shoes to fit me without paying a small fortune. Socks are even worse.
    We get away with more?!! Who do you think you’re kidding? Woman coming out of the gents will get a strange look Man coming out of the ladies is likely to get arrested. The stats tell us that judges are consistently more lenient in sentencing of women.
    If you want to rant, that’s fine but get your facts right.
    Rob.

    • Was not intended as a rant. If you are familiar with my other work, I tend to lean on the sarcastic/cynical/humorous side. I’m entitled to my opinion as you are to yours. Thanks for stopping by and reading!

      • wobsy

        Yes, indeed. I whole-heartedly support your right to express yourself and to hold any opinion you choose. Similarly, I’m entitled to tell you that, in my opinion, you’re ill-informed and wrong.
        It’s good talking with you.
        Rob.

    • Felix S.

      No offense Rob, but this is the dumbest reply to a post I have read today. You make absolutely no points that contradict Julia’s rundown. She’s not BLAMING men for having it easier (you seem to take offense!). She’s simply stating basic facts. And the best you can do is tell her to move to Europe and that it’s OK for her to go into a men’s room (?). Umm, yeah, you win that argument buddy. And dude, why are you coming out a ladies’ room to begin with? Creepy time. If you want to rant, that’s fine. But don’t be so dumb.

      • wobsy

        “I hate him for having it better than me” certainly sounds like blame to me. Why would she direct hatred toward someone who was blameless?
        I didn’t say I was in or wanted to be in the ladies’.
        I didn’t suggest she should visit the gents’.
        I didn’t tell her to move to Europe, except as a venue for fulfilling her desire to go topless. It’s her choice.
        I take no offence: this is stimulating debate and lots of fun. Who’s dumb?

      • I didn’t realize blame and jealousy were interchangeable.

  2. Hamid Lorette

    Women do have some advantages:

    1. They tend to live 5 to 10 years longer than men and are healthier overall
    2. They can create human life by having children. If I want kids I’ll have to convince a woman to have some with me whereas a woman can just get pregnant
    The flaw in your thinking is that there is no real way to make the conclusion that men have it better without first experiencing being both a man and a woman which is impossible, but funny and thought provoking post nonetheless.

    • If only I could do that! I think it would be interesting to switch bodies with a man for a day, kind of like that Freaky Friday movie. Then we could each get a sense of what the other really has to deal with! Would make a good science experiment. If only…

  3. I love this post, but the banter in the comments is equally good! I fear I have to agree, there are advantages to being a guy, especially on the bodily function side! I read the post to my cyclist boyfriend, and I am afraid he offered some salient points – it may suck way worse for us ladies on the menstrual side but he begs his side of the story includes having to put up with the mood swings and general craziness! As a cyclist, he also shaves his legs so wouldn’t give us that one either! Regardless, great post. Fun to read and something to debate next month when …….. well, you get the drill!

  4. nope not fair. not equal. ain’t the same for all. Most of your points are true but it works both ways on the simple stuff. Evolution finds it’s own balance. Now if you brought up Power – who has it?- that gets complicated. Nature does what nature does, society and which parts you buy into is something else.

  5. In all honesty, I don’t think guys can just pee anywhere anymore. In the last month, I’ve seen two characters in TV shows that are on the registered sex-offender list simply for peeing near a playground. I’m not sure how accurate that is, but you know, art imitates life.

    And here’s an advantage women have… just log onto World of Warcraft or any online game, and you’ll be showered with online gifts, encouragement, and all kinds of support just for being a woman.

  6. PS You’re ill-informed and wrong.

  7. I appreciate everyone’s passion for discussion & have enjoyed reading everyone’s comments! I only ask my opinion be a little better respected; after all, opinion by definition cannot be wrong! Thanks for reading everyone.

  8. wobsy

    Julia,
    I am truely sorry if I have upset you. I do respect your opinions, even though I think you’re wrong. You started out with “men suck” and “I hate him”. That suggested to me that you were inviting a full-blooded, no-holds-barred debate. If I’ve misread that, then I apologise.
    I’d like to be your friend and engage you in future discussion. Please don’t take anything I’ve said to heart.
    Rob.

    • I’m not offended at all; it takes a lot to really upset me 🙂 I actually like these kinds of posts because of this reason. I like to see what kind of people come out of the woodwork when you put something controversial out there for everyone to read. As long as everyone involved is truly not out to intentionally hurt anyone else, it’s all in good fun. Looking forward to future discussions..

      P.S. This was intended as a two-part series, so keep an eye out for part II: why women have it better! Will probably take a break from this topic for a week or two and then revisit.

  9. Pingback: Why women have it better | mindoverMadness

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