What I would come back reincarnated as (and why I wouldn’t want to be human again)

Being human is so overrated. There is so much nonsense and bullshit we create for ourselves that it’s no wonder society is so fucked up (told you I wouldn’t keep that resolution).

Sure, being human has its perks, just like anything, but when you break it down, we have a lot more stress than any other creature in the animal kingdom. Animals have two worries in life: finding food and avoiding death, which may sound pretty difficult and very stressful, but if you think about it, we as humans have those exact same worries as well. Maybe we don’t have to worry about it in the same way- we don’t have to scavenge and kill our own food, nor do we have to worry about being eaten by others (unless you live next door to a cannibal)- but we have to worry about putting food on the table and staying healthy, safe and alive. But on top of that, we have to worry about a million other things, like finding (and keeping) a job, being able to pay bills, being able to take care of a family, not to mention all the added pressure we get from society about superficial things, like worrying if our clothes are in style, or if we drive the nicest car or live in a big enough house. None of that crap matters to anyone or anything but us. Humans.

Some people might not believe in reincarnation. I’m not even sure I do myself, but I want to believe it exists. It’s scary, though, to think about coming back but not having the choice about how (or who) you come back as. If every time you simply returned to Earth as another human, I’d say no way, forget it, once around is enough, thank you very much. But if you could choose every time, I think it could get kind of fun. You probably don’t even have to come back as a living thing. There are so many options and ideas I would have, but here are some of my favorites:

A dolphin. I’ve always had this love of dolphins, so I think it’d be cool to know what it’s like to be one. Plus they can do really cool flips in the air, and I’ve never been gymnastic enough for that.

A lemur. Ever seen Madagascar? Enough said.

A butterfly. Flying is so intriguing, and looks incredibly fun. Although I might be too freaked out about the whole cocoon thing.

A blanket. They are always so soft and cuddly and make people warm. Who wouldn’t want to do that for someone? I’d have to be specifically for homeless people only though. I’d be a big, fluffy blanket that covered them all and kept them warm at night.

A Scrabble tile. Preferably the letter “Z” (10 points!).

A snake. I want to be able to unhinge my jaw, maybe eat a whole turkey.

The Great Pyramids. Any one of them would be fine.

A penguin. They are so cool, and they can slide around on their bellies.

The ocean. All of it. The whole thing.

Edamame. They are so tasty, and so good for you. And they never last long, so I could die quick and come back as something else!

A lion. Majestic, like Mufasa. Without the whole trampled-to-death thing.

A bat. They are creepy, but cool.

Big Ben. I love London. It is my second home (and my true birthplace).

A leg pillow. Have you ever tried one of those things? They are A-MAZ-ING. The end.

An alien. They exist, I know they do. Have you never been to Stonehenge? Hell-o.

If you can’t choose, then I don’t want to come back at all. Instead, I will just live forever in serenity on my lake of watercolors (like in What Dreams May Come). Or Hoboken, New Jersey. Whichever is available.



Filed under Afterlife, animals, community, Entertainment, humanity, Humor, Lists, Magic, Opinion, Reincarnation, Society

7 responses to “What I would come back reincarnated as (and why I wouldn’t want to be human again)

  1. The blanket would be nice, but it does depend on who owns the blanket. You might end up on the bare legs of someone less than stellar.

    The pyramids was my favorite choice of yours. They’re the Great Pyramids. That’s a lot to live up to and all which would make me nervous. I think you could handle it though. Just beware of tourists rubbing you and taking a picture of it.

    • Thanks! I agree, being a blanket could get tricky (especially if you get peed on). I think I can handle the pressure of being famous though, at least in the sense that I wouldn’t throw up my hands and scream “no pictures please!” like most celebs 🙂 What would you come back as?

      • Maybe a famous sculpture or painting? I’m always on display and I have a job that makes me feel adequate and useful. But I also only have to work 9-5. Kids aren’t allowed to touch me. I’ll be worth a lot. A few thieves might try to take me which could be an exciting adventure if they do. So without thinking into it too much, I’d come back as The Mona Lisa. Especially if I can move my eyes every once in a while to creep someone out.

      • That’s awesome. Puts my pyramid idea to shame! 🙂

  2. I have two cats – I would like to come back as Sammie – she has a pretty good life! Enviable in the cat world, I am sure! If you haven’t met her – I am happy to introduce you – she is rather the socialite and princess: http://www.anitamacphotos.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/sammie-the-cat/

  3. I was loving the list until I got to the snake part. 😦
    What I want to be reincarnated as? Hm. I’ll pass. Too lazy to live another life again. 😀
    Great post, by the way!

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